Mother tapped on my window this morning
Seizing my skin with her breeze
And pleasing my ears with the click-clack-
Click of leaves falling from trees

Though I realized you were gone
I still squeezed your pillow in denial
Then pleading to be released
I pressed hard on my mind’s snooze

Nature found another way
She sent the rain to trickle,
Tickle and tease me with its dripdropdrip
Dripdropdrowning out my dreams

Still I refused to believe
In reality without
You beside me I’d rather
Stay here sleeping the day away alone

Finally, Autumn retreats
Her sensations are replaced
By temptations of caffeine, cream and you
I rise to delicious coffee for two.

Ooph!

Life has been crazy lately, hasn’t it?

But I guess that goes without saying these days.

I haven’t blogged in a long time. I can’t even blame 2020 for that but to say I’ve been busy would be both a cop out and an understatement. I can only say I’ll try to do better.

In addition to all the mom stuff we moms do on the regular, I’ve been distracted by other things. Work. Life. Other stuff.

Though I obviously haven’t been blogging, I have been writing. A lot actually.

I rewrote one of my novels… again. Only this time, I like hardcore rewrote it—as in completely shredded the you-know-what out of it until it was completely unrecognizable and then I put it back together. Like one of those 1000-piece puzzles so many of us attempted to tackle this year, I felt accomplished and proud when I finally finished it. But like a puzzle, now I don’t know what to do with it or myself. I’m not sure whether I should frame it, start another puzzle right away, or take it apart all over again.

Perhaps it’s time to dust off the querying cobwebs and get going.

My dad died last year.

That was rough. Still not ready to talk about it.

Oh, and COVID. WTF? I lost a good friend this year to it. She was 44 when she got it and 45 when she was removed from the ventilator. In case you’re wondering, she had no preexisting conditions or at least none anyone was aware of. So many people have lost people this year. Over a dozen of my close friends have lost parents. Not all to COVID but it seems we have all lost something or someone to it. But we’re also gaining things. It’s not always easy to see those things but if we squint hard enough, they’re there.

It’s probably strange to admit this but I’ve enjoyed my time in quarantine. In some ways, self-distancing comes naturally to me. Spending more time with my family, especially my daughter, has been nothing short of a blessing.

We’ve decided to homeschool her this year. She’s always kind of wanted to be homeschooled so needless to say she’s beyond excited. I am too. So far, it’s going well.

As I’ve mentioned before, I have Polycystic Kidney Disease. I’ve never let it slow me down, but like so many of you who have preexisting conditions it’s given me something extra to think about in the midst of this whole COVID sitch. My mom has it, too.

We all have so much on our hearts and minds these days.

I hope you’re happy and healthy.

I’ll blog again soon.

This year. Or maybe next year.

Promise.