I said hello and smiled through you
And you eagerly smiled back before
Mine melted away
Into your molten scarred unrecognizable face
An innocent smile instantly replaced with sadness since
I could not hide my horror, then my shame
I peered up and down aisle after aisle
Slowly filling my cart while searching and
Wondering—how could I?
And if and how could I correct my transgression?
Should I apologize or simply start over and try again?
Offer up a joke or a note about the weather?
I needed another chance to prove I’m not that person
To the guy cleaning up in aisle three
But neither of us knows me evidently
Or even well enough to know I’d react that way
Or that I’d care this much about a complete stranger
Or that I’d obsess over you and then somehow forget you
Before suddenly spotting you again
In the last aisle
My last chance
But face to face I froze again before making amends
I was immersed in fear again
I smiled that same stupid smile again
This time sincerely hoping it might hide
My insincerity, my regret and my fear
But it didn’t.
I wanted to tell you I didn’t mean to hurt you
But my pathetic face failed us both
And you let me know I missed my chance to make it up
To you—oh who am I kidding?
This time, you didn’t smile back
This time, you looked through me
And I deserved it
I had my chance to be a better me
And I blew it
I’m so sorry.